I used to believe that living a good life was a choise. But I never considered how difficult this choise could be. Before I started this book, I was aware of all the trigger warnings. Still, I started it. I wanted to get a glimpse of a different life. I wanted to be sympathetic and understand that there are more aspects in life that just my own. And this book did not disappoint in that. At the beginning of this book I felt anger. "Why would nobody help?" "Are you so naive being comfortable in your life that you do not want to help someone who needs it?" As the book was developing I started realising "Living is a choice" "Accepting the life that is given to you and trying to make the best out of it is a choice" By the end of the book I realised "Making a choice is the easy part. But after that every day can be a struggle" "Fighting memories, emotions, events, bad or good is a never-ending battle with yourself. One that can exhaust you." People can change their lives if they want to. The thing is that when everything goes well but something shakes your current world, you need to try and stand tall. But then you remember your old life and you slowly go back. It might have been a bad life but it was familiar. And familiar is where we tend to go. So it is not about people not changing. It's about people fighting everyday to not give up. When it comes to the storytelling I do not feel like I have the words. Hanya created a fictional group of people, but I assure you they did not feel like it for a second. I felt like I was reading a biography. A very detailed, well written biography. I have never read anything like it. Some say that most of the POV's were unecessary. Maybe yes, but I think they gave us the context and the foundation for the events. There were many detailed scenes that you can only describe as repulsive. You don't want to know them. Or even picture them. But that is the book. It creates pain. It creates this picture of exaggeration. I have heard people say that it is too much. But let's not forget that movies and books have the right to do so. Be far fetched. As long as they do it the right way, they work. And here it worked. I asked my self many times "How can so many sick people be presented to just one person?" And I still question my self whether that is possible or not. I have to admit that many of the scenes that had me sobbing were the ones with Harolds affection. That man gave all the love, protection, affection, parenthood Jude deserved. He never disappointed and even though I was always expecting it from him I always started crying. Cause he gave him all he deserved. And I was so happy that he got what most of us take for granted. Easily a 5 star read. For the writing, the dedication, the attention to details, the quotes, the psychological analysis, the character development and so much more.